Literally, I've been through much and so much have changed.
I've gained a special someone, lost some loved ones, gave up something and pick up something again.
Life has been so different but what about emotionally?
I'm still feeling the tension, the stress and the unhappiness.
I struggle to breakaway.
Seriously, I know I grumble alot and did nothing about my mundane life. Nonetheless, I still know what has to be done and what lies ahead of me. Yet, none of which goes with my ideal.
I know~~~ it's the usual struggle right? What I want VS what I have.
As the philosophy goes, I know what it meant by 'cherish what you have' and 'be contented'. Simply put, it means to be happy with whatever you have, before you lose it and start whining about it.
But for god's sake, can't I just be a spoilt brat? Grumble and whine about whatever hell I want? Couldn't someone just come and comfort me? Treat me like a little girl?
Why must all these so called 'loved' ones be the ones to deal me with harsh realities? As if I'm not facing them in my everyday mundane life?!!!!
And before they even spout their bloody lecturings, can't they even reflect if they are doing any better with their own life???
Living a life that remains unchanged for the past 10 years, current and possibly 10 years later. You call that being contented??? With deeper thoughts, I think that's an abuse of being 'optimistic'.
Its annoying that it's all say and no action put to it. Likewise for my grumbles and their lectures.
However, grumbles helps me unwind and vent out my frustrations. Lectures? Help them to stop my grumbles??? Oh well, possibly.
Therefore, I'm back. I know I'm being very mean. Only come back to this sanctuary when I desparately needs it. There's is no place I can return to. Humans don't understand and wants me to behave like an adult. Facebook is definitely a no no. So here I am. Thank goodness that I did not shut this blog.
Disclaimer: I have no ill intentions and I really love those around me. Yet, I hope all would understand that I am too a human who suffers emotional breakdown and needs some place to rest, someone to comfort/console me. I don't need to be constantly reminded that I am an adult now. It's already tiring enough.
